Heart of Fire

adventure 3

come upon a caravan. see new dwarf (Michael Guest character), kill mercenaries, get war pony
go see Nutbutter, get wasted drunk, and go to sleep in the inn.
go work in stables due to unfit condition to travel
{mike went and talked to mr. nutbutter, who wants to know what my quest was}
while working in the stables, BIG FUCKING GIANT CAME AND SMASHED!!!! beat the shit out of everything, but i killed it. it was assassin #5
left town, and rest. joined by new dwarf Orri(mike)
outside of town, attacked by dwarf on black charger, he got smashed like a bitch
made it to easthorn, killed some wolfs and got in ( i dragged in 2 of them)
go to meet with the mayor, Bitchsplitter (meeting with 3 elves)
go to the Witch’s Wail inn, try to sleep
waken by dwarf cleric, attacked by bard and angry ninja elf bitch, #6 and #7. killed em dead
have now killed #9, 8, 7, 6, 5
went to wall and looked out into the wild, the Undone Lands
only 2 people have come back, Stonecutter and High Cleric
got shit identified, got a new shield, got dwarf cleric girl to escort.
go into the undone lands, fight at the first camp
trippy-ass dream, got beat up, some white bright tower
woke up and went northwest like in dream, fuckin bear!
some dire wolves tracked us, ate me a lil bit
next dream, saw badass dwarf kill a massive dragon
fight massive black dynamite dire wolf, destroyed it, minion lvled, got better
cam upon castle in dream, saw witch-bitch falla, end!

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adventure 2

went south, found evil tower, surrounded by cannibal bitches
elf ranger Guy hit me with pebbles, fuck that guy
went in tower, saved 3 kids
went to top of tower, killed evil dwarf, found mace named Lucy
went back down, 1 kid dead
went back to town and tried to rest, big scream woke me up
villagers were all crazy-eyed, i removed curse like a boss, chilled that werewolf village elder out dead
went down well following blood trail, fell like a bitch (whatever)
managed to swim to shore, went in creepy ass old-kingdom temple
fought dwarf vampire king, and queen: killed them in teh order
found guy, he’s a vamp, wtf? nearly killed him, he ran like elf coward he is
went down, found big mean guy. got beat up, healed up, beat up again. used all my powers, managed to slay the beast. went back to village, rested up, and continued to Easthorn

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adventure one

was a lil’ paly, fought some witch bitch, mentor got zapped.
2 years later, a lil’ bit better, but need to improve. mentor’s sent a letter, wut?
go to bar, assassins be trippin’. kill them fast, lose axe.
go back after citadel attack, get arrested. wut?
find out im teh chosen one. old mentor olkar is behind citadel attack, killed high cleric. get fucking LOOT-SAUCE
go back to bar, MURDER BITCHES AND NEED TO FIND CREAM CHEESE
ATE CREAM CHEESE, need to find witch bitch
set out for Eastwood…..i mean Easthorn.
fight asshole evil dwarf monk who gets his giggles by kicking me in the balls. kilt him dead
find cannibals, get ass kicked. kill them
find small farming village, get my ass kicked by raiding party
amulet starts bitching me out, HEALS me, fuck yeah
cut fuckers up, win the day
fortify village, head south to take care of trifflin’ bandits

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