Heart of Fire

Into Enemy lands...Terminus and Herald enter the game!

-after making sure that Summer’s people were taken care of and my equipment was battle ready, we head east to follow the only trail i have to find Torag’s Hammer again
-we went in the direction of the Commonwealth, run by the human lands and governed by a strange body of people known as The Administration
-Summer and Grimme traveled mostly in good conditions, and made nice amount of small talk during this time. Summer’s companion, the dragon, made no apperances
-we traveled and Grimme gave her more gear that woudl benefit her far more than it woudl benefit him
-one night, they approached a stretch of road that was well-lit by torches lining the road
-there seemed to be some men that we also blocking the road
-Grimme didnt like the look of it, and sent Summer off into the woods to stay hidden until he investigated what this business was about
-and as soon as the light was clearly on Grimme, the humans opened fire with their guns in 2 volleys
-Grimme, never really being exposed to guns in teh past, did not know what followed the thunderous explosion of gun powder. but it hurt like a bitch, so he did the only sensible thing he knew to do
-he charged straight at the crew of 20+ men
-the men, amazed that somethign on 2 legs survived the onslaught of a barrage of gunfire, were shocked and didnt know how to handle the wrecking ball of dwarven fury and metal catapulting into their ranks and laying waste to their visage and dreams of discipline and precision
-Grimme wooped some ass, and then some sergeant with a shotgun did some real damage all ‘up close and personal’ like. as a last act, the sergeant dropped a vibrating object onto the ground, and it burrowed into the earth and dissapeared. Grimme paid it no heed
-the battle lasted only a little while in a sense, but to Grimme, it was far too long, and far too many times getting shot
-on the sergeant’s body, there was a papaer being some description of him and summer, and an “X” on his picture
-Grimme did not like the look of this
-as he started to recover ever so slightly from teh battle, more soldiers appeared with more rifles, and opened fire on Grimme
-badly shot up already and bleeding, Grimme ran to the woods on the side of the road for cover (he also found a cowering soldier that had run away from his fellows in the previous fight. if there is anythign Grimme hates worse than elves, gobbos, and trees it is cowards. he dispatched the strumpet easily)
-as the line up of soldiers lined up to shoot into the woods were Grimme recovered behind the soldiers body, Grimme had to think of somethign and quick
-reaching inside his pouch, he found a silvery vial of liquid that he remembered to be a potion of invisibility and he drank it
-Predatormodeengaged.gif
-invisible, he stalked his prey, and moved to a more advantageous position flanking his would be attackers
-as they searched the area for his body, believing him dead, he attacked with just as much force as he previously did, felling the rest of the soldiers while taking minimal damage
-victorious, Grimme saw to some of his wounds and began to look for Summer, but he noticed somethign strange
-the ground was vibrating, and then shaking, and then violently shaking
-fearing the worse (giants or somethign terribly large and willing to kick him) Grimme tried to find the source
-the source came from 3 giant golem-like creatures that had emerged from the ground (the grenade that the sergeant let burrow in teh ground had consequences it semmed…)
-already beaten up and not looking so good, Grimme knew only one thing to do, and that was to fight, but let the enemy approach him
-they did, and they whomped on him for awhile, and it sucked
-Grimme did manage to down a couple of them, but the broken peices began to merge into a bigger, meaner looking one and then THAT one whomped on Grimme
-things did not look good for the hero now
-then, from out of nowhere, there appeared a strange creature with 2 swords tearing into the massive golem beast
-the beast went down quickly, but Grimme knew not if this new creature was friend or foe, so his guard remained up, and his weapons ready
-Summer appeared and introduced her new companion, the creature known simply as Drago
-after letting his guard down to this new companion, Grimme and Summer went off to a small cave and rested from teh battle
-the next day, they continued their traveling down the road to the human city, passing the bodies of the soldiers that Grimme killed the night before
-after awhile they came upon a traveling man who was heading to the human city with a wagon full of veridium
-they knocked him out, stole his cloths, and Grimme hid in teh back of the wagon as they entered the gates of the human city, Terminus
-also had to knock out some guards at teh city gate to make it past
-once inside the city, they maintained a low profile and stayed at a small inn
-Terminus was massive, a bustling metropolis the likes Grimme had never seen. there was a wealthy section and a slum section, and an industry section, guards patrol everywhere and
-Grimme spent a couple of days wandering the city and due to his Knowledge of the Ancients could pick up the local language in that time
-he also noticed posters of someone called “Harold” everywhere, and that everyone in the city was evil (this perturbed Grimme)
-Grimme decided to investigate teh industrial side of Terminus, and got in a bit of a scrap with some gunmen
-it was an easy enough fight, and Grimme had to flee the scene to avoid capture
-later that night he found a mysterious building that was large and isolated from the others in the industrial section, and he later learned that it supposedly held mysterious artifacts of great power
-so of course Grimme waited untill nightfall and did his best to infiltrate the building
-he fought some robots to get in, and didnt worry too much about them
-once inside, he saw several crates and 2 figures
-one of them was a massive golem, seemingly made of pure mithral with some adamantine (Grimme knew he would be a tough fight), the other figure was none other than Barthamul Cross, the figure who had escaped Grimme with his battle with Tth Amon
-the battle raged quickly and with lots of damage being traded around
-the golem did a lot of damage to Grimme, enough to where he had to be a little desperate in the fight
-Barthamul had this little prissy gun out, and was shooting Grimme and his companions with it
-Grimme knew that if the battle raged on he would die, and not complete his mission, so with all of his last strength, he charge the gun-wielding vermin and used his Radiant Charge ability to lay all possible damage into the fiend and smote him
-the golem and gunman was defeated, but upon Barthalamul’s death, Tth Kamul appeared and wisked him away. it was a strange encounter indeed

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Summer, Marshes, and Veridium, Oh My!

-met summoner and her pet dragon
-brought karia’s body with me and wrapped her body in the cape of lost causes, and built her a funeral pyre and burned her body, leaving assblaster
-jumped off cliff and landed badly
-walked through jungle and walked through lightning mushrooms
-came to marsh, had to walk around it
-fought a hag, and bugs swarmed out of her
-made it across the marsh, and came to a village in the trees
-giant evil apes attacked us
-i fell again
-found veridium, a green glowing material that corrupts and kills if you are exposed to it too much
-followed source to a giant river and then a large lake
-was informed the inhabitants lived on teh other side
-went to other side and village was empty, but there was a giant mutated crab
-mmmmmmm, crab legs for dinner
-summer informed me her village was close
-we went to her village, which would normally be located on top of a massive hill/mountain
-instead, a massive face was being carved into the side of teh mountain, and green veins of veridium was showing
-i went forward determined to end this threat to innocents
-battle ensued, and i saw two figured in one of teh eyeholes of the face on teh side of teh mountain
-i pursued the figures, with some pesky guards along teh way
-made it to the hole and went inside, sensing great evil and peril
-came to the end, and a chasm led straight down and straight up
-i informed summer that the evil was below, and jumped down
-i fell straight into lava, and there was only a pit of lava down here
-opps.jpg
-in quite a pickle, i tried to climb out and failed time and time again
-this was kind of depressing, my quest was coming to an end because of lava. LAVA, not a dragon or demon, but LAVA
-so as im fumbling for an escape, Dragon comes down and calls me an idiot, and causes an explosion in teh lava
-this causes the lava to swell and rise (quick quickly) and bring me all teh way up to teh top of the mountain, where i am hurled out and land with a thud
-badly damaged and burned, i rise to find alot of my gear almost destroyed by teh lava
-there was also people there interrupting my recovery, time to beat some ass
-there atop the mountain/large hill were the 2 figures from teh eye
-the mage-lookin’-fella says he is Tth Amon, and he starts talking smack, the other figure remains silent and disappears at some point threatening me by saying how i am interfering with the community or whatever (/ignore)
-summer comes down and starts talking shit too to Tth Amon (i stand queitly as my armor and my body heals from teh lava)
-and then, out of nowhere, Summer calls the evil wizard Tth Amon guy father!
- PLOT TWIST (SHOUTED BY MR. TORQUE)
-well, we end up fightin’
-i smash him right good, and thats pretty much teh fight
-world goes black, see a giant black dragon appear, this is Tth Kamul, the evil-ass dragon dead-ass Tth Amon worships
-so, people are liberated, but they all have severe veridium poisoning, so we make a camp outside of the afflicted area and me and summer see to her peoples health for teh next couple of days
-i also repair my items, the ones that survived that is

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Adventure 8: The Big Desert of Suck and The Heart of Fire

-went south, and eventually climbed up the cliff-face
-came upon a massive desert
-nothing else to do, so started moving south in teh desert
-i keept thinking i was traveling south, but i just ended up getting lost
-found a sinkhole in teh sand on accident, tried to avoid it
-fuckin Tremor worms still found me, but i managed to kill them more or less
-at one point, accidently found myself in a massive sarlocc pit where it tried to eat me, i courageously ran away to fight another day
-after a couple of days of wandering, came upon a whole bunch of worm pits
-starting fighting one worm, and it deafened me with a wail and brought 2 of its chump-ass buddies
-i killed the first one, and started working on bashing he second and smaller one
-the bigger one ate it, and swallowed me
-i fought the creature from inside its throat, and dealt some damage, but felt an off rocking thati couldnt explain from inside the creature
-all of a sudden, there was a massive gash opened up on the outside of the worm, and i saw through the whole a even bigger flying shark eating it
-i hurdled toward the ground and fell with a crunch
-i then climbed out of the carcass of the worm and saw the massive flying shark looming over me, not attacking
-this was the giant shark the blue cheiftain rode
-i managed to climb on top of the shark, and we zoomed off in the direction i thought was south
-we got lost, again (my bad)
-we made a quick stop to the ground to get one of the worms and feed the shark, which i found out was named Blood Shadow
-as we were traversing the skies, we got attacked by harpies! (after flying in circles for 2 weeks….)
-the harpies said that Stonecutter woudl have his prize, and we killed them with not too much effort
-Blood Shadow ate them, but not before we coudl get an odd device from one of the bodies that pointed in directions (a compass)
-we finally got in the right direction, and started flying quickly south
-around this time, i started noticing hat all of my equipment had started to degrade a good bit, and was getting worse. without the protection of torag’s shield, i was exposed and vulnerable to this land
-we traveled south, and saw a massive landscape bathed in fire and ash, and accidenely flew staright into some black clouds
-within these clouds was a monster breed of fire, a greater fire elemental
-after defeating the creature, we continued forward, and saw a small temple ahead of us, The Heart of Fire
-i landed, and dismounted while Blood Shadow left me and i traveled up the winding path to the great temple, but another creature barred my entrance
-i fought out of nessecity, and slew it
-i entered the bottom of the temple, and was greeted by several smaller creatures of ill intent, so i prepared for a battle, seeing as how i was outnumbered
-they wanted nothign to do with me, seeing and knowing my great battle prowess
-i continued forth, wading deeper into the temple and up the ramp into the main antechamber of the temple
-within the temple, i saw many things: the roof was heavily damaged and had many cracks and breaks throughout it, there were old columns up and shattered about, what appeared to a large demon pinned to a large stone behind a massive dias/alter, what appeared to be evil runes written in blood around the an altar, and on that alter was Oltar Stonecutter holding Torag’s Hammer pointing down at Karia’s chest as she lay on the dias
-as soon as he saw me, Stonecutter plunged the massive sword straight down in Karia’s chest and a massive ray of light cascaded forth from the wound on Karia’s chest forming a ball of bright light right above the temple that pulsed and grew with a life of its own
-enraged beyond all meaning, i challenged the coward to mortal combat and charged
-there was this bullshit invisible force-field that block my path to the coward
- went back, and presented myself to him, and waited for the strumpet to come to mem and i goaded him by smugging one of the runes with my foot
-this seemed to anger teh wee bitch
-he cast spells at me, but the spells we absorbed by the shield and hammer, storing epic power within them
-he teleported behind me, like teh absolute coward he is, and attacked me
-i swung on him with all of my might and strength, bashing my hammer into his face and discharging all of the spent up spells rightly
-this attacked staggered him, and enraged as i was, he was not ready for my onslaught
-impervious to pain and any other thought i beat him with my hammer like a dog and killed him easily. with his dying breathe, he looked at me and said “you fool, they are coming!” (or some shit, whatever)
-i rushed to Karia’s side, and craddled hr head as best i could, to find her wound beyond my help to heal, and the remains of Torag’s Shield still on her chest (i collected teh shards in a small pouch)
-i comforted her in her last moments, and she died in my arms
-Torag’s Hammer was there for teh taking, the object of my quest, the source of my adventure
-i collected the loot form Stonecutter’s corpse, killed the demon (getting a holy avenger in teh process), and carried Karia’s body outside the temple, which still had the glowing ball of light over it
-as i walked outside, holding her body, i saw an approaching army of around 800 barbarians, 3 dragons flying overhead, and what appeared to be a circle of demons summoning something
-i gently placed Karia down, grabbed up Torag’s Hammer, and was immediatly sheathed in badass holy armor
-i dramatically faced the coming army, turned my head back around to see Karia slumped over dead, and said “For you Karia, for you…” and i walked toward teh forces approaching me
-with Torag’s Hammer, i cleaved through the foes with absolute ease, never even taking damage and devastating the army very quickly
-i fought their seeming leader, a giant of a human with two battleaxes. he seemed very surprised when he couldnt hurt me, and then i kicked his ass
-well, that is untilla freaking red dragon stomped on him and made his ass grass and dirt
-i stood toe-to-toe with the beast and its rider, striking hard and fast with my new weapon made for gods
-i slew the dragon and continued on, like a fuckin boss
-i noticed that the group of what appeared to be demons we summoning something, and far in teh distance what looked like a mountain was rising from teh ground
-as i walked to my doom knowingly, a familiar voice cried out to me to stop
-an angelic figure fly down in front of me, identifying it as the spirit that harbored with Torag’s Sheild, and the being asked for Torag’s hammer
-being a paladin, and a servant to holy beings and my god, i gave him the epic sword
-he flew off into the distance, toward the massive mountain that was being summoned, and for the first time, i saw the mountain was in fact a massive, unbelievably huge colussus.
-and epic battle went under way, with beams of light hitting the moving mountain and it in turn slapping around the angel now fighting it
-in the end, the pure beams of light energy vanquished the monstrosity
-i then saw Torag’s Hammer spinning through the air, and then grabbed by one of the dragon riders who flew off into the east
-Stonecutter dead, Karia dead, The Heart of fire found, and Torag’s hammer lost again, i am now trapped in a lava covered wasteland
-just another day in my life
-my quest continues…

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Adventure 7: Shark-wragglin, city-breaking good time

-carried back to Red Tribe’s village
-not in great shape, mud huts and what-not
-learned the orc’s name that gave me the red headband, Ug-Thraa
-the tribe expected me to fight the Blue Tribe, and defeat them
-we partied the night before teh battle, and then rested
-the next day, we set about preparing the camp for battle
-soldiers were divided up, and given places to hold
-a giant trench was dug in teh front of teh camp with spikes
-we built 4 rough rough rough catapults that were behind the trenches (one of them broke as soon as it was fired)
-scouts were sent out to track the movements of the Blue Tribe Army
-the battle began, and there was alot of fighting and killing
-the catapults worked pretty well, but were overwhelmed quite easily
-i managed to kill their leader, some orc with a really small head who i thought was the blue chief
-the red tribe won for the day, but Karia was mortally wounded
-she was taken and “healed” by the ancestors
-in the mean time, i went to the blue orc encampment and challenged the blue orc chieftain
- we fought, and he got teh drop on me a bite, but i ended up bashing his face in my a radiant charge, it was awesome, and he fly away on his flying shark mount
-i was mad, so i needed a flying shark to get up to the flying rock/city that the blue chieftain escaped to
-so, i went back to the red orc camp, checked up on Karia, and then took a hunting party to go catch a flying shark
-there was a very odd procedure to catch the sharks (splashing in a river to attract the attention, and it usually ends up ion the death of the person splashing)
-we attracted some sharks after a couple of days, and managed to kill all but one, and knocked it unconscious and dragged it back to camp
-we then made a pseudo-harness for the shark, because i wanted to ride it with Karia (who was back up and moving by now)
-we wrestled with the shark, and mounted it to go to the flying city/rock
-this did not go as planned, at all
-lost control of the shark very early on, and it flew stright up into the upper atmosphere
-i fought for control, and Karia passed out
-i ended up jamming my fingers into the gills of the shark, and gearing it to go back down, so we were able to breath again
-i managed to wrestle and maneuver the shark to the hovering rock city
-we dropped into a building and it collapsed around us. and then the blue cheiftains giant shark mount ate my shark after it was cute to me, not cool man, not cool
-we then explored the city a bit, and found some weird people casting spells
-we killed them, and then rested
-we found out the magic people we killed we looking at some black magic stone, looks like the one in teh tower that we used to teleport to the top, but it was black instead of blue
-we sacrificed a magical item, and then some gravity elemental came out of the stone and starting crushing us with gravity force
-fuckthisshit.jpg
-we started to pound on it, but noticed teh rockcity was moving when we were fighting
-i stayed focused on the fight, and manged to defeat the creature (it absorbed the mace we sacrificed)
-when defeated, i noticed there was no air, and we were very high up, and teh rock-city began to fall back down
-ohshitohshitohshit.gif
-Karia woke up, and we had no idea what to do on top of a city huddling back toward the ground
-out of nowhere, a large shadow appeared whilst we were going back through the clouds
-it was the blue cheiftain, and his shark mount
-i goaded him into a fight, and easily defeated him while taunting him and jeering him
-upon his death, we battle the shark mount and knocked it unconscious, knowing from my previous encounter that these creature float whiel unconscious. Karia grabbed teh headband and the cheiftains head, i grabbed a hold of her in one arm and teh ahark in teh other, and we lifted off the ground into the sky just before the city slammed into the blue orc camp, killing almost all of teh blue tribe
-we floated down to the ground hanging from teh unconscious shark mount, and let it float away
-we looted the blue orc chieftains body, and i took his armor, Absolution
-i put on the blue headband in front of teh remaining tribe, and became the new chieftain of teh blue tribe as well as teh red tribe
-we traveled back to the red tribe and updated Ug-Thra on teh new situation, and moved all of teh orcs to the ruins of the city that was now on teh ground
-i then began my search again for Toarg’s Hammer (the sword) and found a small chuild that had seen a dwarf like me head south into non-orc lands, dry and apparently either desert or hot
-we set off south, and ran into mountains after a couple of days
-we ended up taking another path that was at the base of a cliff, and i got snared ina trap and Karia feel in a hole
-arrows then began to pincushion me and it hurt pretty bad
-managed to cut myself down and start whomping on the guy with a bow who ambushed us
-Karia kept me alive as i downed the guy, who was a tough fight, but as he died these sick ass little quills shot everywhere(some in me) and 3 of them went into Karia, and she turned into stone, but i was safe because i had Torag’s Shield on
-i tried to blow all of my lay on hands to get her better, but nothing worked
-the amulet tell me to put it on Karia, so i do, and there is a bright light
-as soon as the light goes away, these little demon assholes come OUT OF NOWHERE and fuck everything up
-they kidnap Karia and head south

-in short, destroyed a flying ruin/city with a shark, united orc tribes, and lost Karia

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adventure 6

-continue traveling up the tower, avoiding the ghostly presence
-made it to another level, room full of statues
-there is a dwarf there, and he rises from a statue state, bt he aint a statue
-he is the Guardian of Steel, and he wooped my ass badly
-i woke up at the very bottom of the tower
-the knowledge of the ancients was unlocked in my head! (i got a badass template)
-found some books, got alot better from studying them (2 str, dex, con)
-forged a new hammer, Grimme’s Reaper (
5 adamantine dwarven longhammer) and Trashcan Lid of Domm (+4 large mithral shield)
-tattooed runes on my arms (coiling dragons around my arms) grant me energy resistance 10 to fire and lightning
-gave some to karia too, but a butterfly on her back. slut. energy resistance 10 fire and cold
-performed a ritual, got back up to the top of the tower
-BITCHED THE GUARDIAN WITH NOT ONE, BUT TWO CRITICALS BITCHES!!!!!!!
-got Sorrow and Regret, badass items
-ascend the stairs, and i am standing outside, and i see firery skies and nasty shit
-meet old mage dwarf, and he tells me that i caused the end of the world, and that he must kill me to stop it. we fight….and i smote him by throwing my hammer at his face and releasing his own lightning spell on his face
-then the tower starts crumbling, oh shit… we see future and past and everything
-got the fuck out of there by jumping off the fucking tower with karia
-landed in a field
-searched a bit the next day, and came upon a waterfall and a lake.
-as we are setting up for camp, see something in the sky…..WHAT IS THE HOLY FUCKING NUTBALLS?!?!?!?! FLYING GOD DAMN SHARKS!!! defeat them
-then, stupid crab beholder dragged me into the lake, had to kill that too
-there was a skinny orc that saw me, and i saw it. we rested, and followed its trail
-saw floating rocks in the air
-came upon a battle with orcs versus trolls. we killed the trolls very quickly, and then the “chief” of the orcs tried to fight me. i killed him in self-defense in one round.
-i was then given his headband, and carried off as a hero of the orcs to “save the village”

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adventure 5

-wake up to big ass white tower
-found a hidden door, and felt static energy when we went inside
-find blue stone, looks like marble
-found a room for of smithing tools and chest, oh wait, one of the chest fuggin’ attacked me!!!
-went across the hall into an awesome armory, but dwarves, who were alive, came and attacked us whenever we tried to identify weapons. remember the weapons and loot
-figured out to walk on walls in teh main tower
-walked for a long time, and fought a gravity elemental and time elemental (fuckers, almost died)
-finally got to a small hole, and saw the sword of torag and ppl argusing over it
-tried talking to some chump, now ancient knowledge is “closer”
-continue up the tower by walking on walls for another week or so
-next platform got some shit chumps on it. fuckin’ battle happening. naturally, i joined in cause the old guy had an amulet that looked like mine
-he opened up a portal to the heart of fire, a torag temple in teh south lost int eh war of man, adn went away
-on the next platform, i see the ruins of the city, and lots of armies fighting
-saw dwarf give orc nice magic armor, and faded out
-continued, and fought some pussy ghosts, we think we are back in present time, and felt a presence

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adventure 4

-orrin is controlled!!! i had to defeat him…
-fought the witch, got beat up a goo dbit, and then killed her with a hammer to a face!
-lightning didnt like that, destroyed the ground and we fell into the Mines of Kelsindra, ancient city of Kelsindra, lots of wealth and gems, over 2000 years ago, lost inteh curse of the undone lands
-explored the mines, and rested in a small room with a well
-saw a green light down the shaft of the well in teh room
-fought some ghosts, and when they “died”, the tunnels they were mining in collapsed
-traveled deeper into the mines
-go to natural chamber, where this HOLY SHIT EVIL MOTHA FUCKA AND HIS DEMON BUDDY!!!!!
-cleaved him in twane with my hammer! and stomped the bitch-demon
-came to a collapsed portion, and then a library. the souls there are preserving books, best not to disturb them…i did. got aged a bit, havea white streak in hair
-try to exit, cloaked figures stop me, and we fight, get my assed kicked some more
-tired as hell, i lay down and rest, and i dream…… of the city, its very prosperous, and tons of awesome shit, golden roads too
-wake up, and try to open door…wont fuckin open, but a ghost librarian gives me book….i make Karria read it, and she gains +2 charisma (i am more attracted to her)
-non-evil ghost gives me knowledge of ancient shit, but i cant access it
-tried to open door, and building collapses instead, awesome! im free! in ruins of massive city
-repaired 2 handed sword, +3 keen greatsword
-start to make camp at night, bad mofos come out of the shadows and throw bricks at me, i deflect them like a boss, channel energy is awesome
-the forgotten knowledge lets me know we cannot stop here, but must continue
-get thru the ruins, and came to stairs, guards and an undead lich! and defeated them, and got to the white tower

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adventure 3

come upon a caravan. see new dwarf (Michael Guest character), kill mercenaries, get war pony
go see Nutbutter, get wasted drunk, and go to sleep in the inn.
go work in stables due to unfit condition to travel
{mike went and talked to mr. nutbutter, who wants to know what my quest was}
while working in the stables, BIG FUCKING GIANT CAME AND SMASHED!!!! beat the shit out of everything, but i killed it. it was assassin #5
left town, and rest. joined by new dwarf Orri(mike)
outside of town, attacked by dwarf on black charger, he got smashed like a bitch
made it to easthorn, killed some wolfs and got in ( i dragged in 2 of them)
go to meet with the mayor, Bitchsplitter (meeting with 3 elves)
go to the Witch’s Wail inn, try to sleep
waken by dwarf cleric, attacked by bard and angry ninja elf bitch, #6 and #7. killed em dead
have now killed #9, 8, 7, 6, 5
went to wall and looked out into the wild, the Undone Lands
only 2 people have come back, Stonecutter and High Cleric
got shit identified, got a new shield, got dwarf cleric girl to escort.
go into the undone lands, fight at the first camp
trippy-ass dream, got beat up, some white bright tower
woke up and went northwest like in dream, fuckin bear!
some dire wolves tracked us, ate me a lil bit
next dream, saw badass dwarf kill a massive dragon
fight massive black dynamite dire wolf, destroyed it, minion lvled, got better
cam upon castle in dream, saw witch-bitch falla, end!

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adventure 2

went south, found evil tower, surrounded by cannibal bitches
elf ranger Guy hit me with pebbles, fuck that guy
went in tower, saved 3 kids
went to top of tower, killed evil dwarf, found mace named Lucy
went back down, 1 kid dead
went back to town and tried to rest, big scream woke me up
villagers were all crazy-eyed, i removed curse like a boss, chilled that werewolf village elder out dead
went down well following blood trail, fell like a bitch (whatever)
managed to swim to shore, went in creepy ass old-kingdom temple
fought dwarf vampire king, and queen: killed them in teh order
found guy, he’s a vamp, wtf? nearly killed him, he ran like elf coward he is
went down, found big mean guy. got beat up, healed up, beat up again. used all my powers, managed to slay the beast. went back to village, rested up, and continued to Easthorn

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adventure one

was a lil’ paly, fought some witch bitch, mentor got zapped.
2 years later, a lil’ bit better, but need to improve. mentor’s sent a letter, wut?
go to bar, assassins be trippin’. kill them fast, lose axe.
go back after citadel attack, get arrested. wut?
find out im teh chosen one. old mentor olkar is behind citadel attack, killed high cleric. get fucking LOOT-SAUCE
go back to bar, MURDER BITCHES AND NEED TO FIND CREAM CHEESE
ATE CREAM CHEESE, need to find witch bitch
set out for Eastwood…..i mean Easthorn.
fight asshole evil dwarf monk who gets his giggles by kicking me in the balls. kilt him dead
find cannibals, get ass kicked. kill them
find small farming village, get my ass kicked by raiding party
amulet starts bitching me out, HEALS me, fuck yeah
cut fuckers up, win the day
fortify village, head south to take care of trifflin’ bandits

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